Sorrow

Sorrow is one of those powerful emotions that consumes you and can hold you captive for a long, long time. 

I think that along with that deep sorrow, there must be a hint of guilt. 

I've been thinking about that emotion today because we lost a dear family member today. 

She was one of those beautiful people who truly cared for others. She would do whatever she could to help you in any way if you needed it. 

When you talked to her, she looked at you and you could tell that she was really listening to your words. 

She was very empathetic and she truly wore her heart on her sleeve. 

However, for all the help she offered to others, she was such a lost soul. 

She lost a baby boy to SIDS many, many years ago and her heart was broken. 

Life has been very hard for her since she lost her baby. She tried to fill that void with alcohol, without much success. Her sorrow ran too deep. 

I know she fought the battle against her addiction many times over. But I think that when you hurt that bad, it's really hard to get up in the morning and move on. 

She just couldn't. 

We all loved her deeply and most of us understood her sorrow. 

As I was growing up, I loved to spend time with her and her family. As I've gotten older and busy with my own family, we haven't had many opportunities to get together. 

I know she tried so hard to be present for her children and I believe she did the best job she could....but it's a struggle when you're buried under so much sorrow. 

I talked to her daughter today and we talked about how her mom is now holding her baby boy. She knows her mom stayed here as long as she could but the pain was just too deep for her. 

She just went to bed and didn't get up this morning. Just like that. 

Hard for those of us left behind to understand but if I sit quiet here, I swear I can see her holding her baby and radiating true joy. She's found the joy that she couldn't find here on Earth. 

Sorrow is deep, deep emotion. One that grips you in its hands and squeezes your heart really tight.....breaks your heart. 

All of our emotions can hold on tight and control our lives. 

Anger, guilt, blame, sorrow, jealousy and so on. 

I saw a lot of that in my Level 3 EFT workshop this past weekend. You would think that by Level 3, most of us would have our issues and emotions cleared away, but I think most of us were surprised at the intensity of the weekend. 

I wish I had been able to help my relative with EFT. I wish I had known it years ago so she might have had an opportunity to experience some joy here on Earth. 

We are so often a prisoner to our emotions, and most of the time, we don't even realize it. 

I do think sorrow is hard emotion to share with others. 

How can you possible explain that pain to someone? You can't really, so you bury it (like most other negative emotions and memories) but it slowly eats away at you. Often it feels like there is no escape. 

For my relative, there was no escape from the pain, no matter how hard she tried. However, I believe she's found her peace now. I believe her beautiful, beautiful spirit is soaring and rejoicing at being released from her pain on this Earth. 

I honor the lessons she taught me and I know that if I sit very quiet, I'll hear her singing lullabies to her baby and that fills me with such tenderness and joy.....Goodbye Elaine...we'll miss you so much.....~M