Monday, February 23, 2009
In reference to my last blog, written so very long ago, I am still in the situation I was talking about. Things have quieted down but I am still sitting with a loved one in the hospital. This is why I have not been able to keep up with my blog. Thanks to everyone who has shown genuine concern for me and my family. We're dealing with a head injury so there is no way to tell how long the healing process will take. Sitting there in hospital certainly gives one time to think and time to reflect upon their lives and the lives of everyone involved. This includes not only the patient, but other family members, the doctors and the nurses as well. These kinds of situations can bring out the best in people, but I've also seen the worst in people come up as well. It's been quite surprising. I guess we all react to life experiences in our own special way. However, I have met some really remarkable people on the neurology ward, and again that includes nurses, other patients and their families. Some of the stories I've heard about seem like they could only happen in the movies, not in real life. It kind of puts things into perspective. It reaffirms that you sure cannot take life for granted....it can all change in a heartbeat, as it has for most of the families we've met in these past few weeks. It's hard to understand until it happens to you or a loved one. "They" say that everything that happens, happens for a reason. I know I talk about that alot. The trick is to find the lesson. And it's difficult to do sometimes. How can a serious, debilitating, life threatening head injury possibly have a lesson to it? I don't know...I haven't figured my lesson out yet. Trying to see the positive side of a situation can be so hard...and sometimes I'd rather wallow in my self pity, anger and sense of helplessness. It's easier and sometimes it really makes me feel better to roll around in those emotions. I see those emotions on the faces of most of the patients and their visitors on the neurology ward, so I know they must be the usual feelings one deals with in these circumstances. It's a confusing place to be when you're faced with these real life experiences. Most days, I can pull myself up and send distance hugs to everyone I see with grief and weariness on their faces. Some days I can't and I search out my reassurances from others. Maybe that's my lesson. Maybe it's okay to rest sometimes and let others take care of things and take care of me. I've never been good at delegating and I've always been pretty independent. Letting go and letting others, including God, does not come easy to me. The old Let Go and Let God motto is a tough one for me to embrace. I'll talk about faith in my next newsletter once things calm down here a bit. I can see that maybe this is a lesson I can take from this situation. I have to figure out how to make lemonade from all the lemons coming my way. In the meantime, as I'm trying to work this out, please know that we are so grateful for all the hugs, support and well wishes. I celebrate your kindness and thoughtfulness!