Second Chances

There was a funeral in our little town this past weekend for a young mom who had terminal cancer. 

She left behind her young son and her husband. She also left behind a tremendous amount of friends who will miss her terribly. 

I'd never met this woman but her final words left a big impression on me. 

A letter that she wrote was used for her eulogy. 

In her letter she talked about the lessons she learned in this lifetime. 

One of those lessons was about giving second chances. She said that many of her dearest friends were people she had "given" a second chance to...and she was so grateful that she did. 

That got me thinking about some of the people in my life. I noticed that many of my "best" friends were also people I had granted a second chance to. I usually am quick to forgive and forget anyway, but more so in the past few years. 

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. Second chances are gifts you give to others. 

We all have off days when we are not at our best.....to have someone understand that and love us anyway is what being a friend is all about. 

I understand being angry at or disappointed in people. I certainly share those emotions. The trick is, really, to just get over it. 

When you let those emotions fester and boil in your body, you can end up getting pretty sick. Make your peace with it or with them and let it go. Holding on to the grudges and anger only hurts yourself and maybe destroys a relationship that had the potential of being truly sweet and sincere. 

I always tell my kids when they're complaining about a friend or someone in their school ,that they have to take a look at that child's life. 

Maybe they're being a bully because they get bullied at home or because they struggle in school. Maybe those kids act out because they are actually lonely and just want some attention. My kids usually roll their eyes at me, but I think they get it. 

Now, I'm not saying that one should put up with abuse or neglect or any of the serious stuff. In those situations, the person who is the abuser is usually really hurt on the inside, as well, and that's why they're acting out, but you still need to get yourself out of harm's way. 

What I'm talking about are the every day second chance opportunities that occur. You know the ones I mean....and there are usually plenty. 

There are days I have to remind myself to take a look at why I'm frustrated with someone. 

There are days when I am quick to judge people....but it doesn't take me long to diffuse it all inside me. I take a look at why I am offended by their actions and I can usually find the reason and, in more cases than not, it's about my stuff, not theirs......or I take a really good look at what's going on in their lives and why they might be acting like that. Then I just let it go and send them a blessing. 

I usually feel much lighter and happier after I do that. 

Sometimes it's really hard to do though. Sometimes I like being angry with people because then I feel right and justified. It feeds my ego and my ego thrives on those negative thoughts and it gets more powerful. 

But I don't enjoy living from ego. 

Living from Spirit fills me with peace and gentleness and joy. 

You would think that it would be easy to stay there because it feels so good....but ego is powerful and strong and hates to be put in the corner. I'm getting better at recognizing when I'm living from ego or from Spirit, but there are still those days I forget, that's for sure. 

But the words from this young mom who had to leave this earth early really hit home for me, so I hope I can honor her words and her Spirit by granting those second chances. 

Maybe I can do that by finding less reasons to have to give second chances. 

Does that make sense? 

The only reason we need to grant second chances, really, is because we've found a reason to be offended by the person's actions or words in the first place. It puts things into perspective, doesn't it? 

We learn a lot from tragedies and from people who are involved in those tragedies. 

Some of my most important lessons were learned while I was regrouping from being in a dark place in my life. Those are the lessons that are the sweetest and that influence my life the most. 

This is one of them...giving second chances or even finding less reason to have to grant them is a wonderful lesson for us all...and one I share with you in memory of Chris....~M