Three little wishes....

The one thing I have noticed in my work with women (all people, really), is that they have no dreams. 

Oh, maybe I should correct that.  They have dreams…like getting out of debt.  That, my friends, is not a dream.  

That is a necessity…not a dream.  

Dreams, although can vary in form, shape, size, are the things that we wanted in our lives, for our lives, to be a part of, and the stuff that will make us satisfied, content, impassioned, nurtured, adventurous, and fun.

They are the stuff that sometimes push us out of our comfort zones.

They are the things that connect us to others.

They are what drives us to get up in the morning.  

They are what gives us a sense of accomplishment, joy, delight and confidence.

But we seem to have forgotten to dream in our society.  

We are too busy making ends meet.  

We are too tired to dream.

Heck, we don’t even know what our dreams are!

When I ask people what gives them joy, outside of friends and family, most have no idea.

When I ask people what three things they are grateful for, the 3 main things are family, friends, health and sometimes their job.  Sometimes. So many hate their jobs, but feel they have no choice but to stay.

Wishes are like that as well.

I mean, I totally get it. 

When I get my birthday cake, and I am asked to make a wish before blowing out the candles, I have no idea what to wish for.  I’m pretty basic and I don’t require material things, so I never knew what to wish for.

So, I challenged myself and a friend to come up with three wishes, and write about it.  One of her wishes is to write, so we decided to come up with topics and just write. 

Our wishes can be about anything.  We also have to include a ‘why’.

They can be fun, serious, quirky, or deep.

They can’t be about friends, family, or our health.

Here are my three wishes.

Wish #1

That I continue to make choices that inspire others to be more adventurous.  To come out of their comfort zones.  

Because, in choosing those things that inspire others, I have no choice but to step out of my own comfort zone!!

Oh sure, it’s easier to play it safe, it’s easier to not spend money on new things, it’s more comfortable to sit on my couch and watch tv all night….but it doesn’t feed my soul.

Getting out of my comfort zone helps me to become more.  It helps me to aim a bit higher every day.  

I gain more confidence when I accomplish things I had no idea I was capable of doing.

Do I fear failure?  Oh for sure, but I know that there really is no failure.  Only lessons. I truly believe that.  So I learn them, and move on with a new perspective.  

Do I fear judgement from others?  Absolutely!! Fear of judgement is the biggest fear we all have!  I don’t really think anyone has a fear of public speaking, what they are fearing is the judgement of others.  

But, there was a time in my life where I felt paralyzed.  Too scared to step outside the confinements and barriers of my self-imposed comfort zone.  Mostly because of my fear of judgment ;-)

And I was miserable. 

So yes, my first wish is that I continue to step away from those areas and barriers of comfort and have more adventures!

Wish #2

My subsequent wishes were more challenging to think of.  Remember, the birthday candle thing?    

Haha, it’s still a challenge.  

And my first wish covers so many areas of my life.

After some thought, I decided my second wish would be for the world.  

I know, I know…world peace and all, such a cliché and what does it even mean?

But my wish is that, by honoring others and by being kind, I hope that I can bring up the vibe of the earth, and that will help heal some of the hurt, anger, blame, shame, guilt, offensiveness and unkindness we see every single day.

With the introduction and ongoing forms of social media, the ugly of the world is present in almost every aspect of communication and seems to almost be our new culture.  

Does it have to be that way?

I would like to think not, but what can I do as a single entity in this big big world?

I can be kind to others. I can compliment people.  I can clean up trash and litter when I see it. I can make eye contact with the cashier and wish them well, even if they’ve been crusty to me.

I can mind my own business, and if I come across something that is not in my interest, or that I would never do, I can just move on.  I don’t have to make a big deal or slam someone because they chose something different than I would choose. 

Man, we get offended by the craziest thing, and we don't have any issue pointing out how wrong that person/situation is!  I belong to many groups on social media and some of the hurtful comments are brutal.  Why should someone be cruelly bashed for the colours they choose for their acrylic pours?  Makes no sense.  If you don't like something, no need to be hurtful or cruel, just move on.  

I can listen more.  Like really listen.  I don't have to label anything or judge it, I can just be there for someone, without pointing out the wrongness of them.  

I think that if I can be more present in my life…if I can help as many people in their trip on this earth, than that can somehow contribute to a more peaceful world.

So I wish to be kind...always...

Wish #3

In making wishes, I always felt greedy.  I felt like I had some great things in my life, so why ask for more.  

Again, I have come to discover that material things don’t inspire me nor do I require them.

I am happy to buy my clothes at garage sales.  I am happy to dig out old cabinets out of sheds and use them in my home.  

I don’t require shiny and new.

Greed is a distraction. It’s something used to take the focus off what we truly desire.  Just because someone requires so many more things than I do, does not give me the right to say that they are wrong.  Making others wrong is something we do to distract ourselves from going after what we desire.....mostly because we don't know what we desire.  Or we are so miserable with our life choices up to that point, we have to make others feel miserable, as well. God forbid, others should truly love their lives.  ;-)

Now, of course, if someone is hurting someone else, in the name of material things or power, then yes, that is not super cool, I get that.

But in my everyday life, it’s not my place to judge others.

My third wish is in the area of gifting.

At one point, I would have thought that was just me being greedy.  Wanting more.  Wishing for ‘more’.  

I thought I needed to give more than I needed to get.  

That I needed to nurture others, sometimes at the risk of burning out myself.

After all, what’s the adage: “It’s better to give than to receive”’?  How has that messed us up???

I mean, we all feel great gifting others, don’t we?  It gives us a bit of happiness, joy, meaning and grace.

So, when we don’t allow others to gift us;  as in compliments, material things, love, acts of kindness, just to name a few, we are actually taking something away from them.

We are making them feel like they are unimportant and that we don’t find their ‘gift’ worthy of receiving. 

It’s a form of disempowering, even though we don’t realize it.  

So, I wish to get better at receiving.

Whatever it is.  

That I say thank you and take the gift that is being offered, and that is all.  No need to say "you shouldn't have", or "No, I can't possibly accept that".  Just say thank you, and receive it.  

Because, I now know, it is a very generous act of kindness to receive.

Whew, there are my three wishes.

But really, what I require, desire and deserve….a life with meaning.  Wishes that are going to create more for me and the world.

What three things do you wish for?  Remember, can’t be about family…we all want the best for our children.  Happiness, love, opportunities...that is a given. 

But what about you???????

Wish away my friends…and see more opportunities show up!!

.....~M